Date: January 21, 2013
Time: 8.30 a.m.
Place: The Oval Office at the White House
President Donald Trump is swiveling in his chair with a sense of smug satisfaction as his chief of staff Gary Busey enters. Both men laugh out loud as if they have pulled off a heist.
Busey: President Trump, that has a nice ring to it. What do you think President Trump?
Trump: The beauty of me is that I was always very rich and very presidential and very smart. It is just that the smart people of America have gotten around to electing me only now.
Busey: So what do we now? Do we have to work?
Trump: That’s precisely what I was thinking. What do we do now? Let’s do The Apprentice White House edition. Get some bureaucrats and I will fire them on national television.
Busey: That’s a great idea.
Before the two could pursue the idea any further an aide walks in and says: Mr. President, it is the Chinese president calling.
Trump: I did not order any takeout.
Busey laughs at his boss’s crack and repeats ‘I did not order any take out…I love that.”
The aide (trying hard to keep his composure): It is a customary call to greet you, sir.
Trump (looks at Busey and smiles again): It has already started. The guy must be shaking in his boots. (Trump turns to the obsequious aide and says) Tell him not now. I am busy. Try next year.
Busey and Trump laugh again with Trump thumping his desk.
Busey repeats ‘Try next year… I love that’ and laughs again.
The aide looks very uncomfortable and confused: Sir, we have to take this call.
Trump: I will decide whose calls I take and when. This is a new White House with new rules. They don’t call us. We call them. And only if we want to berate them. So go and tell the Chinese president to do some Tai chi and cool it in the mean time.
The aide, looking even more confused: Are you serious Mr. President. I could not possibly do that.
Trump: It is a direct order from your commander-in-chief.
The aide: If you insist, Mr. President.
The aide leaves.
Busey: Way to go Mr. President. Now should I call some bureaucrats?
Trump: You do that.
Before Busey could do that the aide walks in again.
Trump (looking irritated): What is it now?
The aide: Sir, I requested the Chinese president to try next year. Before he disconnected he said I should tell you these exact words ‘Tell Mr. Trump, China wants its money back. All two trillion. Now. By this evening.”
Trump,looking befuddled, turns to Busey: Gary, what do we do now?
Busey: You are the boss who is very rich and very presidential and very smart. You should know what to do.
Trump: Get some bureaucrats and the Apprentice camera crew. We need to fire some people right now. And yes, include the aide who kept interrupting me.
