Oh, the insolence of the royal horses! They had to drop balls of dung all along the royal route of the royal wedding. Couldn’t they have been administered some sort of a royal dung retardant? I am sure there is a medieval recipe locked away somewhere in the Buckingham Palace.
What I like about animals, even the pampered ones in the royal stables, is that they are so unmindful of those they serve when it comes to excrement. They just excrete wherever, whenever. They don’t care if Kate is watching.
I am no expert on horse dung (My doctorate is in BS) but looking at the texture and shape of the excrement on high definition television, one could tell that they are all fed the best possible feed. Remember, I had a very short time to determine between a horse dropping some dung and it getting crushed under the hoofs of the one that followed. I am happy to report that the health of the royal horses is quite robust.
Speaking of the royal health, it is amusing when royal watchers say things like “The royal couple is in great health.” Of course, they are in great health. They don’t have to do anything other than pointing at whatever they want. All that Prince Philip does, I am told, is harrumph. At times a royal servant plays one of his recorded harrumphs. Sometimes they don’t even have to point because after decades of subservience royal servants can anticipate what they want just looking at a slight twitch of the royal eyebrow.
Even I would be in great health if I traveled like this
My ultimate vision of the men of British royalty, especially father Philip and son Charles, is them spending their entire day just purposefully clearing their throats and saying “On the contrary” to each other with the famous British stammer. And “contrary” is pronounced “contraruh”. Occasionally, when there is a major crisis, one of them might say, “We took a bit of a tumble there.” That’s it. No other concern in the world.
Since this is a rambling, pointless post here is one more random observation about a fleeting image from the wedding ceremony. Check this picture out. The guests here exude no sense of joy. Those in the picture who are married seem to be asking “Why?” and those who are not “Should I?”
Also, what about these bobbies in red tunics waiting along the route? One of them must be thinking, “WTF, man? Why him and not me? I have more hair than William? So why am I here standing in abject servitude?”
