South Asia Daily

Some thoughts about Ayodhya verdict

An early reading of the Allahabad High Court’s judgment in the Ram temple-Babri mosque case suggests that the judges were influenced by the overarching reality that 2010 is not 1992 or even 1528. There seems to be an unspoken acknowledgement that the country has indeed traveled far from the bloody and rancorous days before and after the demolition of mosque on December 6, 1992.

The essence of the court’s verdict seems to be that it should be possible for the Hindus and Muslims to continue maintain a peaceful religious coexistence even while dividing the property three ways. Within the division the court has apparently maintained that the central dome under which the Hindus believe the deity of Lord Ram resides should indeed be given to the Hindu community.

It seems like a judgment that tries to carefully balance between the aspirations of the two communities by two of the three judges, namely Justice Sibghat Ullah Khan and Justice Sudhir Agarwal while the third, Justice Dharam Veer Sharma has come down almost entirely on the side of the Hindus.

While it is possible to argue that the court has gone beyond the specifics of the issue and entered the realm of good neighborliness, faith and belief, given the country’s forever complex religious relations the underlying suggestion of reconciliation may not be that out of place. In some sense, it is an activist judgment but an exception can be made because of the gravely sensitive nature of the case. It would have been hard for the court to be coldly clinical and strictly legalistic.

These are my quick early thoughts (as if they matter at all). I extensively reported on the dispute before and in the aftermath of the demolition in December 1992. One used to interact with all the leading lights of this case practically on a daily basis and in the process one developed a special affinity.

P.S.: When rescued from  all the political, cultural, religious and emotional cacophony around the case, one is left with a striking feeling about the absurdity of this case.

Born of tiger-nado and earthquake

The American news and current affairs website Slate and particularly one of its writers, Grady Hendrix are discovering the enormous star power of Rajinikanth and his ability to so completely warp space around him.

In a piece appropriately headlined ‘SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth’ Grady introduces to his North American readers someone who has become a fable in his own lifetime. Grady does a perceptive job of capturing many of the superstar’s irresistible allures and explaining why an actor who has just turned 60 and does not hide his baldness enjoys the status of a divinity among his fans.

“The second-highest-paid actor in Asia is a balding, middle-aged man with a paunch, hailing from the Indian state of Tamil Nadu and sporting the kind of moustache that went out of style in 1986. This is Rajinikanth, and he is no mere actor—he is a force of nature. If a tiger had sex with a tornado and then their tiger-nado baby got married to an earthquake, their offspring would be Rajinikanth. Or, as his films are contractually obligated to credit him, "SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth!"” is how Grady describes him.

Quite hilariously, in this entire description what the actor’s fans find most objectionable is that Grady says he has a paunch. One of the readers, Giri Kumar Bathala, writes with rather elegantly constructed indignation: "with a paunch"??? what the hell is this author talking abt...? Rajini has got a paunch... what the hell....” Another reader, a woman called Sowmya rages on: “This is a really bad piece of... article. You need to get ur facts right. Rajini has a paunch? since when? He is unknown? Since when? Were you born today morning?”

Come to think of it why would Rajinikanth fans object to the description that he may have been born of a coming together of a tiger, a tornado and and earthquake? That somehow does justice to the sheer force of nature that his millions and millions of devotees see him as. As for a paunch, that is an embarrassing reminder of his human frailties.

Considering how widely the piece has been emailed and reblogged, Slate might have found a lucrative territory for an American website to tap into from time to time. Even if Grady had just written “SUPERSTAR Rajinikanth” a thousand times over he would have drawn as much attention and way more laudatory reactions.

Trouble in North Waziristan

Here is some purely armchair speculation about Pakistan’s reluctance/inability to dismantle the militant networks in North Waziristan and other tribal areas.

Amid reports that the C.I.A. has increased its drone bombing campaign in this mountainous region between Pakistan and Afghanistan, I wonder whether it is Islamabad’s deliberate ploy to so exasperate the Americans with inaction that Washington would eventually do the job for them. The New York Times has reported today that General David Petreaues, the top American commander in Afghanistan, has issued veiled warnings to Pakistani commanders that if they don’t act against the Taliban and Haqqani network he would launch unilateral ground operations in the tribal region.

I am beginning to think that Pakistani commanders are holding back going after the militants as part of a strategy to let the Americans do the thankless job for them. The rationale behind such a strategy, if it really exists, is quite ingenious. If the Americans succeed, Pakistan would have rid itself of perhaps its most serious existential challenge. If they don’t, the Pakistani commanders can disown the operations and tell the militant networks it was not their idea in the first place.

It has been well known for quite some time that top echelons of the Pakistani military do genuinely feel that the Taliban and its affiliates are useful for Islamabad in the larger strategic game in the region. They consider a terminal military assault against those networks in the tribal region counterproductive for Pakistan. At the same time though the Pakistani military would not mind if such networks’ strength is significantly diminished by any US operations. A diminished Taliban/Haqqani network is still a useful force for Pakistan since it could be controlled better.

In any event, it is obvious that the US seems suddenly stirred up to escalate its operations against these network as evidenced by three airstrikes by American helicopters into Pakistan. While the US has denied their helicopters entered Pakistani airspace, reports have persisted that at least one might have. The strikes killed more than 50 suspected members of the Haqqani network headed by Maulvi Jalaluddin Haqqani and his son Sirajuddin. They work closely with the Taliban and have carried out many strikes against the US and allied forces.

On a separate note, some in Pakistan’s government have said the US strikes violate their country’s sovereignty. This is as opposed to the Taliban/Haqqani network and other renegades actually maintaining its sanctity.

Outsourcing stereotypes

Todd Dempsey (Ben Rapaport) and Rajiv Gidwani (Rizwan Manji)

NBC’s alleged new comedy ‘Outsourced’ is about, you guessed it right, outsourcing. The plot broadly tracks the progress of a US company called Mid America Novelties which fires its entire US staff and outsources their work to India. It sends Todd Dempsey (Ben Rapaport), one of the two surviving employees, to India to train the staff there.

If the pilot episode is any measure, we should prepare for a pretty sophomoric ride through the cultural friction caused by outsourcing at a time when America is hurting because of diminishing employment. It is also about Indian actors speaking in faux Indian accents.

There is a low-talker, a smooth-talker, a comic-talker, an oily-talker and so on. Speaking of sophomoric humor, there is a character called Manmeet whose name is pronounced by the show’s protagonist Todd as “Man…meat.” “It must be hard to chat on the internet with a name like that,” says Todd to complete the humor.

Asha played by Rebecca Hazelwood

Then there is the smooth-talker called Asha, the meaning of whose name inspires more “humor.” Asha informs Todd helpfully it means hope and the quickwit Todd says “In that case I Asha to get to know you better.”

A cow played by a cow

Todd’s India vis-a-vis is Rajiv Gidwani, played by Canadian Indian actor Rizwan Manji’s approximation of an Indian accent sounds like that of a Canadian Indian actor born to Gujarati parents from Tanzania who migrated to Canada. Wait, how did I know so much? Well, it is in Rizwan’s bio on NBC’s website. It sounds like English that suffered various sprains and fractures while rising from his spice-laden belly, ducking his queering larynx and eventually slipping over his tongue.

There is the standard cow joke where Rajiv tells Todd, “The cow is considered sacred. It can go where it pleases.For us Hindus the cow is not a source of meat. It is sacred because it brings the milk. Muslims and Jews do no eat pigs. We do not eat cows. Is it so crazy?” No sir, it is not crazy at all.

Then there is the fart-food-stomach upset joke. Todd is told by a fellow American Charlie Davies, played by Diedrich Bader, on seeing his thali full of Indian food, “If you eat that stuff you would crap yourself for five days. I am not talking about two days and three days and four days and (fart sound)..I am talking about five full days.” In Charlie’s defense the bhindi-masala does look horrifying even to a lifelong vegan like me. It is floating in yellow gunk that looks precisely like the crap Charlie fears it would induce.

It is quite possible that ‘Outsoucred’ would come into its own as it progresses but the question is how many stereotypes would it reinforce before that? My guess is many if the pilot is any yardstick.

Must meet John Doe

Meeting John Doe  again had been on my mind ever since the release of Anusha Rizvi’s ‘Peepli Live.’ I met him first in the early 1980s.

This Frank Capra cult classic of 1941 had been my mind for a while because having been a journalist out of a job ‘Meet John Doe’ offers some great therapeutic delights. The problem is one still remains a journalist out of a job after the movie is over. And the mortgage company or the utility company does not accept therapeutic delights instead of hard cash as payments.

Hollywood has for long extracted a wide range of humor out of plots set in a newspaper office. ‘Meet John Doe’ is one such but goes well beyond. It is extraordinary how current the movie still feels after nearly seven decades after it was made. The movie opens with a brilliant scene where a worker works his jackhammer on the ornate plaque of a newspaper called The New Bulletin before replacing it with a new one with a cleaner font that reads, ‘The New Bulletin A streamlined newspaper for a streamlined era.’ If changing fonts could change fortunes, I would have done it a long time ago.

If you are blessed with a good net connection, I suggest you watch the movie, even if you are not a journalist, especially if you are not a journalist. The scene where a boyish boy fires old fogies is done with such humor and good cheer that I yearned to be fired all over again.

Ahmedabad in Ann Arbor

An overview of a BRTS route. (Pic: Amcanada-Wikipedia)

Ahmedabad has followed me to Ann Arbor, Michigan, where I am for a day to attend an India conference organized by the students of the Ross School of Business.

In the interest of clarity, I am not an invitee by any definition but merely a driving accompaniment to someone who is the keynote speaker. Last evening was a “by invitation only” dinner where Jamshyd Godrej was the star attraction. In his address charting the India story, Godrej also spoke of the importance of the country taking the non-carbon and sustainable growth route. As part of that he specifically cited the success of Ahmedabad’s Bus Rapid Transport System (BRTS), aka Janmarg.

Godrej pointed out that the BRTS is only among the three such systems in the world, the other two being in China and Turkey. He said the BRTS is an example that needs to be emulated elsewhere in India and specifically highlighted that it is a mistake to invest in a new metro system in Mumbai. Godrej attributed its success to the local municipal administration as well as the state government.

According to Godrej, the BRTS has begun to have a visible impact on the city’s transport in that it has reduced the number of cars on the road. I spent two months in the city recently and I am not entirely if that claim can be credibly backed up. Perhaps he knows something that I do not. However, the simple fact is that the BRTS has been a manifest success. By and large people like its ease of use and good quality buses. Soon the system will be extended to cover a 90 kilometer route.

The only major criticism that I heard was the BRTS connection points were not easily accessible from various neighborhoods around them. After getting off the buses it is not easy for the commuters to find connecting transport back home.

On balance thought the BRTS is seen as a major improvement in public transport. It was in recognition of that that in January this year the BRTS won the 2010 Sustainable Transport Award by the Institute for Transportation and Development Policy of the U.S.

Harmony unplugged

Harmony Siganporia

Her name alone merits attention. She then eminently lives up to its promise by starting to sing. By the time Harmony Siganporia strikes the first note of Joan Baez’ ‘Diamonds and Rust’ one knows one has encountered a remarkably seasoned voice.

Of all the people that I met in Ahmedabad during my recent visit in connection with my biography about the city, Harmony was by far the most compelling. And the interesting thing is I may never have met her had it not been for my dear friend Sidharth Bhatia’s ringing endorsement of not just her, her sister Melody, and mother Neelu but, more emphatically, of their father Vispi. So thank you, Sidharth.

Vispi Siganporia

With his walrus mustache, ponytail, Pink Floyd T-shirt, one may be forgiven for thinking that Vispi is still struggling to shake off the Woodstockian cool four decades after the fact. He exudes the kind of easy amiability that can come only from being a Parsi and a musician of enormous talent. Quite apart from the fact that he is one of India’s best drummers, Vispi also possesses a refreshingly young singing voice. And yes, he is also a sound engineer who has worked on many Hindi movie songs.

I met Vispi well after I met his daughter and could immediately establish from where Harmony got her quirky charms. The Siganporias are an effective argument against the popular notion that Ahmedabad is a city teeming with philistines. Vispi has been running a band called ‘Purple Flower’ for the last 40 years and enjoys quite a following. Although it is a cover band, Vispi says they work hard not to fall prey to what he colloquially calls “popatization”  (drawn from the word popat meaning parrot meaning merely parroting the original works). When you hear Vispi sing some of Beatles songs or even Lionel Richie songs you understand exactly what he means. He makes them sound so completely his own that you have to remind yourself that they are not.

That brings me to Harmony whose day job is as faculty at the Mudra Institute of Communications Ahmedabad (MICA). She is also working on her PhD on ‘Language of Reform - Late 19th century - Western India - History of Ideas.’ I hope I got the theme right. I think it is because it just sounds right for a doctoral dissertation.

It seems having been named Harmony by Vispi and Neelu singing was a fait accompli for her. She has been singing since she was three years old. She thinks she is moderately talented but those, including me, who hear her disagree. I think she is exceptionally talented. With a sound engineer, drummer, singer father Harmony has music breathing down her neck. She ought to be auditioned and signed up soon.

I shot a brief video of her during their regular gig at a mall in Gandhinagar. Now that alone, I mean singing a Joan Baez classic at a mall, calls for gumption. The video was shot in one take with a camcorder, without extra lights or microphones. Yet, her voice quality and singing is unmistakable.

Check out their Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&gid=167708206855

Here is a way out of the Games mess

It is too late in the day to bemoan that the 700 billion rupees ($15 billion) which the Indian government has reportedly spent on the Commonwealth Games was not spent on the much more pressing issue of the country’s almost criminally iniquitous economic order.

There is no credible way to counter this argument, but the point is that the money has already been spent. There is no return policy on such purchases. The Indian government can’t go back to a store and return all the stadia and flyovers which have been built.The next best thing to do is to make the most of the infrastructure that has been built in the name of the Games. The most obvious thing to do now is to hold the Games whether or not all or most countries attend.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh should address the nation to announce that every single rupee earned from the Games in terms of broadcast rights, advertising and any other endorsements will be, by an act of parliament, spent strictly on addressing the challenge of the iniquitous economic order. He should also announce that during the remainder of his term he will personally monitor the disbursement of such funds. As for the Games village, sell all the apartments at a market-determined price and transfer the proceeds from that sale to create an education fund for the most destitute of the children in the country.

Since Commonwealth Games Organizing Committee General Secretary Lalit Bhanot is not picky about cleanliness and hygiene sell him the worst of the apartments with a non-functioning toilet. It would be a mandatory sale in the sense he has no option but to buy it. And yes, he has to pay the full amount by check. And then have the tax authorities scrutinize the source of the money.

It’s like normal to scratch our balls in public

Someone please tell Lalit Bhanot that he is not the president of Khichadipur Scrap Dealers’ Association. As Commonwealth Games Organizing Committee General Secretary it is his national and international obligation to enforce standards which are slightly better than what he has understood to be acceptable standards of hygiene and cleanliness.

Before I dwell on Bhanot’s deeply embarrassing comments I must get this wholly malicious crack out of the way. Any official at that level of national and international visibility, who shows up at a news conference or for that matter anywhere else, with the first two buttons of his shirt open, should be fired on the spot. Watching the clip of his news conference I had this sinking feeling that any moment he would shoot a jet stream of tobacco and nut gunk from one side of his mouth on the wall behind him.

Responding to the mounting criticism from the delegates of the participating countries about the living conditions of the games village, Bhanot had this to say: "See everyone has a different standard of cleanliness. The rooms of the Games village are clean according to you and me, but they have some other standard of cleanliness."

What he was really saying was this: “Aisa hai ji, jaise hum apna tatta public mein khinchte hai to woh to kuchch baat nahi hai yah side mein khade ho ke peeshab lar lete hein woh bhi chalta hai.” (It is like normal for us to scratch our groin or urinate in public.)

Perhaps it is late in the day to tell the Bhanots of the world that the Commonwealth Games are not something that other countries outsourced to India to get a cost advantage even if it meant compromising on the quality. It is not as if a collapsed bridge here, filthy toilets there will not matter as long as the outsourcing countries’ bottomlines look good.

Bhanot confirms and reinforces all the worst stereotypes about Indians cutting corners without any qualms in any endeavor. That is what I have a problem with. It is ironic that on a day when some of the Indian media was highlighting a story out of Washington that India will be the third most powerful country according to a US national intelligence assessment, we were also being told by Bhanot that hygiene is a matter of personal definition.

When Bhanot says “The rooms of the Games village are clean according to you and me” what he is really saying that India and the world should be happy that there are rooms with four walls at all. Now you want functioning toilets in them too? Don’t be ridiculous. That’s the formation in his unexpressed mind.

What stands in the way of India becoming the world’s third most powerful country is Lalit Bhanot.

P.S.: I have it on unimpeachable authority that the Chinese Olympics Committee had an emergency meeting in Beijing yesterday where all the top officials got together, said India in unison and laughed their guts out. They then adjourned. There was nothing else on the agenda.

P.P.S: There is no Khichdipur Scrap Dealers’ Association. I just made it up.

Savita Bhabhi is tormenting Goa’s moral police

A graphic from the Goa adventures of Savita Bhabhi

Going by Goa tourism boss Nikhil Desai’s definition I have just become a pervert. Desai believes that those who visit porn websites such as the one chronicling the sexual adventures of the fictional Savita Bhabhi are “perverts.” That could be half of the Indian web surfers. The other half would like to but their connection speed is too slow. Thanks to my broadband connection in Chicago I am in and out of such sites blazing fast.

"People who visit these sites are perverts. There will be perverts in this world. I think people who really want to go on a clean holiday will not go by the impression of Goa created on these websites," Desai has been quoted as saying by Mayabhushan Nagvenkar of the IANS. I particularly like the emphasis ‘There will be perverts in the world.’ Indeed, there will be Mr. Desai, there will be.

His comments have been prompted by reports that the creators of Savita Bhabhi have set her latest adventures in Goa under the title 'Beautiful beaches, sexy swimsuits, one hot bhabhi.' I visited the website (www.kirtu.com) in the interest of journalistic accuracy but mainly because I am a perv.

The edition is full of such literary gems as this one popping up as a fantasy balloon above a character called Karan who is vacationing in Goa with his girlfriend, only to be ambushed by Savita Bhabhi. “What a sexy pair of legs. And her boobs… I am sure she is not wearing a bra!”

Savita Bhabhi courtesy www.kirtu.com

For those of you who are not perverts and do not visit such sites here is what Savita Bhabhi is according to her creators. Her full name is Savita Patel. She is 29 years old and married and likes kitty parties and socializing. “She is a regular Indian woman in the eyes of the world, but only a lucky few know who she really is. Savita has always been aware of her body and the power it has over men. She is unafraid to use it to get what she wants, even if that happens to be just sexual pleasure. Savita is always open to new and exciting sexual experiences.”

It is reassuring to know that the Patels have not risen in protest against the series yet. And also that she never reaches 30.

The IANS story also quotes Superintendent of Police (Special Branch) Atmaram Deshpande who says a cyber cell was being created in the state police force just to go after such websites. "We are keeping track of such websites. But most of these websites are registered abroad and are being operated from there,"  Deshpande says. I don’t know about you but when I read Deshpande saying that the police are “keeping track” of such websites I had this vision of lascivious policemen feverishly scrolling down the PDF pages of Savita Bhabhi.

P.S.: It might be a hilarious idea to set Savita Bhabhi’s next adventures inside a cyber cell where lascivious policemen are tracking her adventures.