It is official. After months of trepidation, uncertainty and second-guessing myself I am coming out.....as someone who nearly detests his touchscreen phone.
For one, it is too woke for me. At the slightest touch it wakes up and reacts. If the screen is already active, it changes to the next one even with a tiny touch at the edge. I suspect now it changes even when I breathe. Yesterday, I genuinely thought it opened a random app by merely looking at it. I have a strong feeling it may jump out of my hands and start taking morning walks with me, discussing world affairs.
It perceives slights where none exists. Too woke, like I said. I regard myself as preternaturally enlightened and awakened about all human affairs. My phone though seems to surpass me. I think it has acquired consciousness all its own. The other day on my morning walk I tripped over an uneven sidewalk. My phone cackled. Or at least I think it did.
I have decided to go back to the rotary phone where the dial took agonizingly long to turn because of an old, rusty spring as well as layers of grime in its gaps. It might be unwieldy to carry the rotary phone but at least it won't be anywhere close to as woke and sensitive as the one I have now. The only problem is the cable may not go far. Also, I wouldn't be able to surf the net on it nor karaoke. However, I am willing to pay that price to have a device that is not so touch-me-not.